Moving Week!

I am moving to a new RESIDENCE! This week will be taken up by packing BOXES and moving said BOXES, and with the VICIOUS COMPLICATIONS arising from switching TEH INTERNETS from one PLACE to the next, I'm just going to go ahead and take the week off from WICKED AWESOME ADVENTURE. The WEBCOMIC will resume when I get INTERNET ACCESS at the new PLACE on JUNE FIRST. Wish me LUCK and thanks for reading the COMIC and giving me such fun SUGGESTIONS!

-ANDREW

ADDITIONALLY! Should you have any W.A.A. ART or GUEST COMICS to submit, feel free to send them in via the CONTACT E-MAIL ADDRESS and I'll (probably) put them up this week!

UPDATE! I won't be getting TEH INTERNETS at my new place until the end of next week! So next update (hopefully) on FRIDAY, JUNE THIRD! Sorry!

327 - Don CORSAIR DISGUISE, join BATTLE

You don the RED DOMINO MASK, HEAD-KER-CHIEF, and WHITE COTTON GLOVES you took from the unconscious (now dead) CORSAIR PIRATE. Your disguise is perfect*! Dual wielding your STYLIZER and a FLINTLOCK PISTOL, you leap atop a (recently vacated) BARREL and start firing across the BRIDGE. M. Bison joins in beside you, armed with a BRACE OF PISTOLS and raw COMBAT INSTINCTS.

Bang, bang! Woot, woot!

>Recapitulate

*Your disguise may be fool-proof, but Steelwood Corsair is no fool. He does not appear to mind your participation, though.

326 - Examine FAMOUS PILE OF PICKLES

You are immediately drawn to the PYRAMIDAL PILE OF PLUMP, PERFECT PICKLES. Unfortunately, your path is somewhat blocked by the PUGILISTIC POSSE OF PIRATE PERSONS currently engaged in diplomacy with a group of SHADOWY FORMS across the RIVER. While you can't be entirely sure, it's a pretty safe bet that those are the NINJA of the INVISIBLE SHOGUN who killed the former PIRATE LORD, SILVER JIM PEGBEARD. It appears that STEELWOOD CORSAIR is leading the defense at this position.

Well, might as well pump the PUBLIC INFORMATION PIRATE on duty for information. He appears to be quite young, and the ACNE scarring and BOYISH EXPRESSION support that theory. Also, the frighteningly high pitch of his VOICE.

PUBLIC INFORMATION PIRATE (PIP): Hi! Welcome to the public info desk! We arr always happy to help you with any and all questions! About anything!

JET: Thanks! Question the first: how do I get on the roof of the produce market without climbing straight up the outside wall?

PIP: What? Um.... I don't think... um....

(You duck as a NINJA STAR flies past and embeds itself in a nearby WALL.)

JET: You said any and all questions!

PIP: Um. Arr! I did say that! But I don't actually know. Really! No one's asked that before!

JET: That's disappointing. Thanks anyway!

PIP: Um, it's arr pleasure!

>Don CORSAIR DISGUISE, join BATTLE

325 - Go WEST

>Examine FAMOUS PILE OF PICKLES

324 - Give DRUGZ to BISON

You offer the FULL PROOF HANGOVER CURE PILLS to M. BISON. His drunkenness is kinda sad. With a brief SNORT, the LIEUTENANT takes two of the PILLS with a GLASS of WATER.

Mere moments later, he is no longer drunk.

Holy crap, it's super effective!

He puts all of his eccentric EQUIPMENT away and smiles happily. Somewhere, a PINK ELEPHANT sniffles softly. You throw a THUMBS UP to the DOCTOR. Nice one! The CURE worked!

A large red MERCENARY agrees with you before running WEST.

>Go WEST

323 - Consult your DOCTOR

You scoop up the NINJA STAR and put it into a pocket with your SHADES, COCONUT HALVES, and two BULLETS. This... may constitute an abuse of the INVENTORY SYSTEM. Maybe....

YOU GOT: ONE (1) THROWING STAR

You then head over and check with the DOCTOR.

JET: Oh. Oh my, what... happened? Is it the pox? Lupis? It's lupis, isn't it?

DOCTOR: No, he's dead. Quite... dead.

JET: How could this have happened?

RED CORSAIR: Um, yeah, it was your Bison. Like, half an hour ago?

JET: Oh, what? Um... what?

RED: Do you seriously not remember? Because you and I were both right here when it happened.

JET: Oh, right, that. I guess I'm just a little hungover or... something... convincing.

DOC: Oh, do you need a hangover cure?

JET: . . . . Yes?

DOC: Here, take two of these with some water. Should clear you right up.

JET: That seems... much easier than usual. And--- and red pirate guy, you're not mad I killed your friend?

RED: Nope, not in the least.

JET: Hmm. OK.

YOU GOT: ONE (1) FULL PROOF HANG-OVER CURE

And since you looted the NOW-DEAD PIRATE earlier this evening, well, it looks like you're done with him. No consequences, no madcap antics, no nothin'.

It seems... too good to be true.

>Give DRUGZ to Bison

322 - Check INVENTORY, head OUTSIDE

You put away your SHADES and check the rest of your INVENTORY. It's just as you left it, you think. You also check your BISON'S ALCOHOL LEVEL--- and he's lapping up GROG. He's rated as FAIRLY SMASHED on the HIGGS-BUDSON DRUNKNESS SCALE. You're going to need to find him some COFFEE or some other HANGOVER CURE to help him sober up--- if you don't keep it for yourself (just in case of emergency alcoholism).

So, last you remember, you've made DEALS with two PIRATE LORDS, STEELWOOD CORSAIR and MANBREATH THREEPLANK. You are now looking for the third and last PIRATE LORD who is in the running to rule the PIRATE SOUTH, a captain named IRONBEARD McBEARD. You are attempting to elect one of them (or yourself) leader by sabotaging the others. It is a fairly straightforward quest.

You also note in your MENTAL QUEST LOG that you're still on the lookout for ELLIOT, the fellow who helped you escape from that strange UNDERWATER FACILITY. You'll keep a WEATHER EYE out for him. And for HUMIDITY and/or PRECIPITATION.

You gather your BISON and head OUTSIDE.

>Consult your DOCTOR

321 - Be a HARSH MISTRESS

That's... odd. You're not usually this HARSH. Did something happen while you were unconcious?

Whatever. It's time to get back to your ADVENTURE, now with 75% more AWESOME SHADES.

>Check INVENTORY, head OUTSIDE

320 - Jet, immediately investigate HAPPENINGS and continue QUEST

JET: . . .

BISON: . . .

JET: Really? This is what you did while I was out?

BISON: . . .

JET: (Sigh)

>Be a HARSH MISTRESS

319 - Back to the PRESENT

You arrive back in your own TIME and SPACE (which appears to be the BUREAUCRAT'S OFFICE) with your unconscious MISTRESS in tow. The PINK ELEPHANT, now wearing the AWESOME TRAFFIC CONE HAT, smiles approvingly before beginning to fade. His TIME, it would seem, is at an end, possibly because you're sobering up a bit.

Before he goes, he offers you a bit of CRYPTIC ADVICE. But since you don't speak ELEPHANTESE, you have no idea what he says. How disappointing! Still, his SMILE is reassuring. Also creepy, but at least partially reassuring.

For a moment, you are alone in the ROOM, engulfed with a sudden SILENCE.

Then JET wakes up.

>Jet: Immediately investigate HAPPENINGS and continue QUEST

318 - Use THUNDERBUSS' PROSTHETIC HAND to GRAB JET and return through TIME and SPACE, getting the PLOT back on TRACK

>Back to the PRESENT

317 - Reluctantly imbibe TEA

Spilling things on him won't work, distractions aren't working, and running probably won't get you anywhere.

(Sigh)

You reluctantly give the ELEPHANT your TRAFFIC CONE HAT and accept the new TEA that the ELEPHANT has produced...

...and you drink it.

You feel weird. The ELEPHANT smiles approvingly at you, waving his TRUNK merrily in your direction as you seem to fade....

YOU GOT: The ability to see through SPACE-TIME!

You drift for a bit through the EDDIES of TIME and SPACE, passing through on a bumpy, wandering ride. Through your DRUNKEN HAZE and CHRONOSPACIAL DISORIENTATION you focus on finding JET and slowly but surely, you are drawn toward her.

You invisibly arrive in a DYSTOPIAN FUTURE, in the middle of a massive night-darkened CITY*. JET lies on the ROOF of a BUILDING, next to a RED-HAIRED MAN and an old POLICE BOX. The MAN has his HANDS up and is warily eying two CANDAEMONS wielding PISTOLS.

You're not sure if you can affect the goings on in this DIMENSION, but just in case...

What do you do?

>Use THUNDERBUSS' PROSTHETIC HAND to grab JET and return through SPACE and TIME

*This is definitely a PARALLEL DIMENSION and/or the FUTURE, since the ART STYLE looks kinda different.