You zworp back from your dimension-hopping, SANDWICH ANTIDOTE in HAND.
What the heck happened in your absence?
PADDINGTON and RED GLASSES are both looking worse for wear, each having created, seemingly from nowhere, their own unique pile of VOMIT. Hang in there, Pad-Bro....
A ZOMBIE has entered the room, considerately coming pre-speared. He's also on fire, as is the ROOM you can see behind him. So your only path of escape is gone....
MONOCLE PIPE is standing on the table pointing some very SERIOUS BUSINESS at the QUEEN LADY'S FOREHEAD. It looks like he was expecting you....
MP: Ah, I see you've returned, and with the antidote, I presume?
CAD: Huh? Yeah, I'm going to give it to my hipbro.
MP: No, you're going to give it to... me!
CAD: Why?
MP: Ah, Mr. Wizard. Again we see there is nothing you can possess which I cannot take away. I need the antidote to save my foolish companion. If you do not give it to me, quickly at that, then your queen will suffer a... splitting headache!
CAD: A headache?
MP: Yes. It's a euphemism? I plan on shooting her?
CAD: Oh. Oh, yeah, I get it now.
MP: Quite. So as much as I abhor violence, especially on a personal scale such as this, you either give me the antidote or there will be a small hole in the head of state! GIVE ME THE ANTIDOTE!
ZT: brains?
CAD: Head of st---?
BAMF!
ALAN: Oh, hello Cad! What a pleasant surprise!
>Query ALAN
5 comments:
Whisper to Pad it's time for a reverse-jabba's-sail-barge maneuver...
Then tell MONOCLE PIPE... "I see you're quite the bandit. Well, 7 is showing. To get what you want, you'll have to MOVE TO IT".
Lob the potion straight up. When MONOCLE PIPE dives for it, KNIFE him.
Pad spearshots the zombie, then uses his empty VUZVZELA to catch-drink the ANTIDODE (beer bong style).
I'm not sure Cad is anywhere near smart enough to come up with or use that plan. Star Wars, yes; Settlers of Catan and clever wordplay, no.
Hmm.
toss alan the cyborg eye, butcher knife, and a heartfelt plea for HELP!
Throw WICKED AWESOME HANDKERCHIEF at MP. Because since it is wicked awesome, it should do something cool like grab the villain's face or whisk away to reveal an 800 lb angry bull intent on charging bright red things. If not, it'll probably get stuck to MP's horns distracting him with another chance to indulge in scathing mockery, and if he flees with the kerchief, Cad will have a future recurring villain.
Oh, and Say "Hello" to Alan. Who uses SCIENCE.
Ask ALAN to calculate the odds of getting his fellow out of this room alive, even with the potion, for the MONOCLE IMP, to discourage him from demanding the potion with PERCENTILES and LOGIC.
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