CAD: OK, bear with me here. I'm not actually his owner, really. I'm his operator. See, he's actually a robot Teddyborg. Or something. And---
GHG: How stupid do you think we are?
CAD: Which one of you? No, see, look at this sweet cybernetic eye I'm going to be installing in him when I get a chance! Robot! Totally!
GHG: Why you stupid---
PHG: Argh! Both of you, shut the f---
A HOVERSAUR bearing a CASTLE SOLDIER swoops down the stairs and stops before the GRIZZLED WARROR.
HR (HOVERSAUR RIDER): General! Thank goodness I found you.
GW (GENERAL? WARRIOR): Report.
HR: I escorted a duo of adventurers upstairs to rescue the Princess. While up there, I recieved word that a Mule Kick Air Cruiser was inbound.
GW: What? But we only sent out the distress signal an hour ago! Unless...
HR: Sir?
GW: Unless Mule Kick knew the Candimps were going to strike! If they're in league, we have no time to lose. Give me your Hoversaur. I need to get to the King immediately! Head back upstairs, help those adventurers save the Princess. Wizard! You need to get through the kitchen and rescue the Queen!
CAD: (Offscreen) Can't we just stand around for a few more turns and do nothing productive?
GW: NO! We need to move this plot along! Get to the beacon! I mean, get to the Queen!
PHG: A Mule Kick airship? They have shoot-on-sight instructions to deal with any Pirates for the Ethical Treatment of Teddys!
GHG: First mate, we've got to get back to the ship!
PHG: Yeah. But this isn't over, Wizard. We'll be back for the Hippo.
GHG: You've made a powerful enemy this day. Someday, we'll free all the Teddys. FOR FREEDOM!
PHG: FREEDOM!
DD: freeeeeedom!
They soar up toward the vaulted ceiling. There's probably, like, a window, or something up there. Probably. Is that really a concern for you guys right now? I mean, really? They have grappling guns like freaking Batman and you're interested in the architectural nuances of a freaking castle filled with Candimps and Hoversaurs? There are freaking dinosaurs with rockets for legs/feet! Gosh! You know what? Just for that, we're gonna do a quick cut-away somewhere else while I seethe. So...
Meanwhile....
MC (MULE CREWMAN): Captain, we're only fifteen minutes out from the castle, sir.
EE (EVIL EXECUTIVE): excellent. our plan continues on shed-ule. so much depends upon... it. MWAHAHAHA!
CADUNGERY MUFFINBOTTOM III stands in the same room where he has been, along with PADDINGTON SATCHMO HIPPOPOTAMUS I and THE TEDDY WHALE. His (Cad's) mission to save the QUEEN (Remember? We agreed?) is once again free from obstacles. What will he do?
6 comments:
TO THE KITCHEN!
PADDINGTON rushes the door, and BASHES it open! (Ignoring all potential high-velocityraptors that are known to inhabit kitchens... and use doors...)
Also, the Hoversaur's jets ignite the CANDIMP remains, starting a (progress driving) inferno!
Look back at chads raging inferno and see flaming zombies!
Grab teddy whale cause Padd-bro seems to have feelings for her.
but first, grab the sprinkled doughnut. your hungry(possibly for mana).
Once in the kitchen, make a fabulous SANDWICH for the QUEEN, because she's been barricaded in her room at least since BREAKFAST (and if you hadn't eaten since breakfast, you'd only want to be rescued by a hero with a frikkin' ENORMOUS SANDWICH).
A hero sandwich, perhaps?
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