You snatch up the NIFTY EPICUREAN PRESIDENTIAL SUNRISE from the BAR (temporarily, of course, you're not a thief! (Well, not of open drink containers that would spoil your WICKED AWESOME POCKETS(or something!))) and raise it before addressing the room (but after jumping onto a table. (Are you following this OK? This sentence structure is getting pretty bulky (Sorry about that!))).
You: Friends, if I may take just a moment of your time? You see, a wise man once said that there is no insanity, no madness more terrible than utter sanity. Another said that when we are indeed mad, past the brink, only then do the mysteries of the universe stand open to us. I, for one, would be refreshed to take leave of my senses temporarily, if... if only there was... some way to do so. Ah, ah ha ha, my friends, but there is! As the wise Senica once said, "drunkenness is nothing else but a voluntary madness." Let us drink, of sound mind and body, to being of unsound mind, that through our inebriation, our elation may provide revelation during our revels! Friends! Westerners! People of this cantina! WHO! IS! THIRSTY???
. . .
The SHERIFF explains that he already has a drink in front of him. Just got a refill, in fact.
The MARIACHI state that it is explicitly forbidden for them to drink while about their sacred duty.
The SOMMELIER snubs you snootily.
. . .
Well, crud. That was some dang stylish oratory! It appears that whoever is going to give you the terribly over-complicated puzzle involving a DRINK ORDER isn't in this room.
You put the NIFTY EPICUREAN PRESIDENTIAL SUNRISE down onto the table. The SOMMELIER takes it.
4 comments:
Hang your HEAD in disappointment at your lack of ability to rally a crowd. Tell the DUCK to stop laughing at your embarrassment. Descend from the table and approach the SHERIFF to see what needs doing first in the area in terms of eliminating the local ruffians
Order a "Nifty Altruistic Candaemon's Crunchy Epicurean and Pragmaticly Presidential Sunrise-Sucking Zombie."
Slap the Sommolier. Demand Satisfaction.
Leave the bar via swinging doors and go outside.
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